Screw the iPhone — What’s Happening On the Basketball Court in the iPhone X Video?

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I was bored for 3 minutes. Whoop-de-doo. A new iPhone, everybody. Better pictures and a screen that recognizes your face. Like a spy movie.


Then, at about the 3 minute mark, I got interested. It’s a basketball court. With players on it.

I also play basketball.

Now we’re getting somewhere.

Dribbling basketball park

Of course, it’s a white guy dribbling a ball. Gotta keep white millennials happy by having him dribble the ball. Marketers don’t want a black guy dunking on white guys in the video, because a) white guys do not like being humiliated. Don’t believe me? Heard of Colin Kaepernick?*

And b) the focus of the video should be on how awesome the iPhone X is.

But I was still focused on the white guy. Re-watching the video later, I realized that there was a dinosaur on the court.

Guy dribbling basketball dinosaur

In-Depth Basketball Analysis

So the guy dribbles. They cut away to a woman with the iPhone, since it’s about the phone, not the game. But I’m pissed. What happens next? Does the black guy guarding him swat it away? Does the white guy cross over and dribble with his other hand? I didn’t know.

I could only guess. He probably didn’t cross over with the other hand. Kept the ball on his right side.

Guy shooting basketball

I was right. Once the camera shifted back to the game, he was situated on the right side of the hoop. About five feet from the basket. High-percentage shot.

He jumps up like a typical white man in a pick-up game; gangly, disjointed, no flow, and prayed that the ball would go into the hoop. Looked like me shooting the ball.

Unlike me, the guy misses the shot.

Basketball misses park

He didn’t use the backboard. He could have Tim Duncan’d it and banked it. He could have Kobe’d it and swished it on a line drive. Or he could have dunked like Russell Westbrook.

Nope. A brick off the back iron.

For an Apple commercial, it was underwhelming. They’re supposed to have the best technology, the best products. But if the white guy can’t make a bunny shot? I’m sorry, I’m not buying your damn phone.

Samsung, show me what you got.


Serious Side Note

*To clarify, as a white male, it’s uncomfortable for me to talk about race. I will never know what it’s like to not have any privileges. I can’t imagine walking around and getting weird looks and having racist things said to you just because you look differently. That sucks. And the paranoia of not knowing if you’ll get kicked out of the country tomorrow for not being white? My goodness, yeah. I’m speechless.

My race has been — and continues to be — douchebags towards minorities. It’s partially my fault, and I’m willing to engage in conversations that brings us all together.

By the way, I loved Rembert Browne’s article about Kaepernick, and I appreciated the article done in The Atlantic about Trump and white power, written by Ta-Nehisi Coates. Take a gander.