I’m addicted to marijuana.
Alcohol, though, not really. I had an acceptable amount of alcohol during my formative years of college and early adulthood.
Maybe because I was too scared to act like a fool when I was drunk. Explains why I’ve been a (mostly) responsible drunk, making sure the group is good and back in bed with water and ibuprofen.
And I’ve regretted every time I’ve drank. Even a little.
Headaches and pain and emotionally unstable. For what, a chance to get lucky? When we’re both mentally unable to speak in complete sentences? Yeah, OK.
If that’s the only reason to drink is to get laid, then Jesus, that return on investment is stupid and wasteful.
All I have to do is stay indoors and watch YouTube and Netflix? And not make a fool of myself? And feel better after smoking/eating/vaping it? Where do I sign up?
“On the dotted line,” said the salesperson inside the dispensary, after buying some mint chocolate bars and peanut butter and jelly cups laced with marijuana.
I liked eating edible marijuana because…
a) it didn’t smell,
b) even with the slower release time, the high stayed in my mind longer high once the THC kicked in. And
c) they tasted pretty good.
Then, vaping helped because it was just water vapor in the form of weed. And the drug hits instantly.
Had to get it.
Also, just FYI, weed is less expensive than beer. Trust me on that. I live right next to a liquor store.
Premium 12-pack of beer: $15 = $60/month
Drinks at a bar every weekend: $30 = $120/month
Smoking Mary Jane 2-3 times a week: $60 for the product, accessories, etc. And it lasts for 3 months = $20/month
Vaping CBD everyday: $50 for 500 mg that lasts 2 months = $25/month
Marijuana makes your life funnier. Of course, don’t step outside when you do it. Because you’ll laugh and look weird. Looking non-violent and shit.
Oh, and the paranoia can get to you.
There’s a local health-conscious grocery store near me — my imaginary FitBit says it’s 200 steps from my place. They have a security guard guarding the doors. Damn homeless people and drug addicts.
Walking into that place was a trip while tripping. Here’s a one-sided conversation I’d have with myself during my trip:
Take a couple deep breaths.
Just say ‘Hi’ while you’re high.
Look the security guard in the eye.
Go for the food. Only what you need.
Screw that. Get the dairy-free and gluten-free ice cream.
Take deep breaths.
Oh, look, root beer on sale. And the man on the package is happy. I wonder if he’s using drugs to stay happy on the outside.
Don’t giggle too loud, or the world will know you’re high.
Go to the checkout.
Only say hello. Do not engage in conversation.
Leave briskly, but not in a hurry. Just walk normally.
Say good-bye to the security guard. Don’t worry. He doesn’t know. You’re fine.
And you made it out alive.
You did it.
Don’t worry. I never got arrested by the cops.
Because I arrested myself. Chained myself to the marijuana.
I thought I needed it. The stuff made me funnier. Or kept my mind open to the possibilities. What possibilities? I don’t know. Something amazing, I guess.
I don’t trust myself to be creative or awesome. I rely on others too much, hence the reason I watch too many videos. Reading is a chore and a bore. Fuck reading.
I don’t know how to entertain myself. Actually, I don’t want to entertain myself. It’s so much easier to shut my brain off for days at a time and let others entertain me.
That was part of the problem with weed. It kept me indoors and away from working hard. It’s much easier to not do anything than doing something.
Speaking of something, here’s something I learned recently…
Hemp is much better.
The only reason why weed is crazy is because of the THC, or tetra-something-something-inol. It’s the drug that gets you loopy and crazy.
But the other plant no one talks about is hemp, which is laced with cannabinoids, or CBD. It’s the taller stuff that is (sorta) legal. No one talks about hemp because it was associated with marijuana. Similar, but very different.
Basically, hemp and CBD is weed without the negative side effects. And that’s why it helped with my concussion.
Ok, here’s what happened:
I’m playing basketball, trying to go for the 5-5-4 triple-double. Actually, they play to 20 by 2’s and 3’s, so hold on, the math might not be right.
Anyway, playing ball. Going up for a rebound. A man, about 6’4”, Midwestern attitude and strength, white. He also goes up for the ball. His elbow hits my temple.
Normal play. Nothing bad happened. I kept playing. Whatever.
I drive home. I’m fine. I think.
I was supposed to go up the mountains the next day. Hike a 14,000-foot mountain with my college friend Mike. But I couldn’t do it.
Headaches. Couldn’t sleep. Throbbing pain. Crying. Emotions running from my eye balls to the floor.
Basically, every reality show on E!, HGTV and the Food Network.
I tried to work out with a personal trainer three days after the incident. Uh oh. I couldn’t finish the workout because I was gonna throw up.
I tried resting. Ice pack on my head. Love from other humans.
Nothing worked. I was lost.
Then someone had mentioned that hemp — not marijuana — is currently helping retired football players deal with PTSD and concussions. Acts as a protective barrier against future concussions, and regenerates brain cells after a concussion.
Took me three seconds to read the article. I close my laptop. I didn’t need to read anymore.
Because I’m in.
I still have the vape pen, so all I need is the CBD cartridge.
And my world changed.
The side effects lessened very quickly. Not as many headaches. I could walk outside without feeling like crap. The monkey mind was clearer.
Sure, maybe it’s a placebo effect. I could be imagining that the CBD was making me feel better. And, besides, minor concussions usually subside after a couple of weeks.
But something else happened.
My mood changed. People started noticing I was happier and more aware of my surroundings.
I felt great every time I puffed a couple of times.
No feelings of laziness or paranoia. Wanted to keep working. Kept going, kept growing as a person.
That’s why I’m gonna keep chugging along on the CBD train.
If you would like more information on CBD and hemp…
Here is an article in the Washington Post about former NFL players using CBD to manage chronic pain.
You can watch Raphael Mechoulam, the father of cannabis, talk about how your endocannabinoid system is affected by CBD and hemp (and marijuana).
If you’re interested in the effects of CBD, check out the research on CBD and the effects it has on cancer, PTSD, and other diseases.
Basically, we need more peer-reviewed and well-documented research on cannabinoid. This will probably take years before people accept hemp as a natural solution to life’s problems.
I can’t change your mind. I can only change mine.